27/04/2016

Pokemon Black: A dark patch on my Pokemon résumé


Although I certainly enjoyed my run of Pokemon Black and didn't have to force myself to pick up my DS and play it, this game has earned the dubious honour of being my least favourite Pokemon entry so far. This is due to a myriad of tiny reasons that would have hardly been noticeable on their own yet lead to a great deal of annoyance when put together. Without further ado, here are the joy-killers that tainted my overall view of Pokemon Black:

—Unova is a rather unpleasant region that comes across as significantly less welcoming, bucolic and heart-warming than regions from other Pokemon entries. Unlike the Northern France inspiration at work in the X/Y pair, the New York state inspiration behind Unova didn't lead to an incredibly charming result full of Western exotism. For some reason that I cannot pinpoint, the whole area feels cold, barren and oozes a vague aura of menace—an overall impression that was reinforced by the fact that my run unfolded in the greyish and washed-out colour palette of the in-game winter. The North-American mystique is curiously absent from Unova: apart from the swarms of office workers in Castelia City's streets and the patrolling of rangers, there is little that evokes the USA. Where are the diners and fast-food joints? There were tons of cafés in Kalos, so certainly Unova could have sported a couple of these iconic American places, right? And why are people sitting on cushions in front of low tables at home just like in Japan? That makes absolutely no sense. To add insult to injury, the towns are quite bland, with a lack of charm that sometimes verges on sheer ugliness, and the vistas seriously lack variety. And however thought that those unbearably long bridges were an interesting feature deserves a serious spanking.

—The random encounter rate is ridiculously high—like, who-the-heck-put-some-Dragon-Quest-in-my-Pokemon-high. This is the first Pokemon entry ever in which I used Repels on a regular basis whilst cruising caves, and I didn't fancy it one bit. Good thing Game Freak came to their senses and implemented a more reasonable rate in X/Y.

—The menu is confusing, with not enough categories of items and an interface that's a trifle too figurative to be truly efficient. Also, the default speed of the menu scrolling is ridiculously fast, to the point of becoming a genuine hindrance: I cannot count the number of times I selected the wrong item just because of this overzealous scrolling.

—Unova's fauna looks seriously bizarre. Now, I never wanted to partake in the raging debate about the decline of Pokemon design and thus never uttered a single negative comment regarding the looks of 'Mons in my posts; but in the case of Black, I simply cannot help it. An uncanny number of 'Mons in Unova sport a really weird appearance, and things only get worse by the evolution. Many 'Mons become positively grotesque and repulsive in their final form—dare I say monstrous?—and look more like the work of a local Victor Frankenstein than like healthy animals at the peak of their evolution. Sigilyph and Cofagrigus? Ridiculous. Simisage, Simisear and Simipour? Pathetic. Jellycent, Vanilluxe, Druddigon and Hydreigon? My eyes are bleeding. And... Garbodor and Musharna? Excuse me, I have to vomit. More seriously, many 'Mons in Black put me ill as ease, made me cringe or vaguely grossed me out—so much so that I wouldn't be surprised if the backstory of Unova included a nuclear disaster or a bad case of water poisoning. Was Game Freak trying to convey some message about the USA by stuffing Unova with so many freaky 'Mons?

—The game's insistence on wifi-based social features is seriously annoying. I don't fancy one bit the fact that the menu was ousted from the touch screen to be replaced by this useless C-Gear app, and being asked whether or not I want to launch the thing before every single plays sessions only added fuel to the fire of my irritation.

—Having to fight the Elite Four twice. Are you kidding, game?

—Bianca and Cheren are an absolute pain in the behind. They are as genuinely unlikeable as one another, Bianca being the archetype of the dumb clumsy blonde and Cheren the archetype of the obnoxious straight-A student. I hated them from the very moment I laid my eyes on them—which unfortunately happened to be the game's opening scene—and every single one of their interventions made me roll my eyes and grind my teeth. I criticized the transparent rival and bunch of useless sticky kids in X, but Bianca and Cheren are a million times more unbearable. Give me over-excited Barry back, please!

Well, that's enough ranting for today. I think I gave Black a vigorous grilling already, so I'll spare you the minute details such as the lack of HM-restricted areas, the extreme pixelisation of 'Mons during fights or the fact that my trainer is sticking out his tush like he's twerking every time he throws a Pokeball. But fear not: there is no Pokemon disaffection on the horizon. I liked Black despite its flaws, and I will certainly pick up Pokemon White sooner or later, as well as White 2 and Black 2. Thanks for reading, and be my guest anytime!

5 comments:

  1. Interesting. Since you started Pokémon with Diamond, you have a skewered view towards that generation. Personally, I'd rank Black/White and Black/White 2 (more so 2) as the best Pokémon games, followed by Gen 2 (Gold/Silver/Crystal and the HeartGold and SoulSilver remakes). Specially because they're the only ones that actually posed some decent challenge.

    I agree on the Pokémon being really hit-or-miss, though. There are some really crappy designs in this generation, but there's still some really nice ones. And some just take some time to warm up to. For instance, I remember completely hating the Klink evolution line before playing but by the time I finished Black, it actually had grown on me. Although, Steel types being my favorite probably helped.

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    1. "Since you started Pokémon with Diamond, you have a skewered view towards that generation": I totally agree. I unconsciously tend to compare all DS Pokemon entries to Diamond, and entries from other consoles as well—albeit not to the same degree. Diamond may not be the best Pokemon entry ever released, but because I played it first, it somehow became my criterion. Which doesn't mean that Diamond is actually my favourite Pokemon entry: I loved Aqua Sapphire considerably more, for instance.

      When it comes to Pokemon design, I definitely prefer 'Mons that look like real-life animals, and such 'Mons were pretty uncommon in Unova, hence my dissatisfaction. But I'm aware that it's a pet peeve, since most players favour 'Mons that do not look too much like real-life fauna!

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    2. Pearl/Diamond and Platinum have an undeniable comfy and peaceful setting and was the generation that presented more gameplay tweaks. Outside of that, everything is debatable but I still greatly enjoyed the 4th generation despite the majority of the Pokémon fanbase ranking it as the worst - even lower than the first gen.

      It's all a matter of preferences! I love abstract or "material" inspired Pokémons but I also love animal based ones as long as they have a nice design.

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    3. I'm sorry for the occasional double posts, Isleif! Chrome likes to play pranks sometimes. >_<

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    4. Don't worry about the double posts, that can easily be fixed! It's not like it's spam, anyway. ^___^

      I think Unova would have looked more comfy and peaceful if my run had unfolded during another in-game season. In fact, I'm pondering a playthrough of White right now... Such a playthrough would allow me to enjoy the in-game spring and wrap up that unfinished business with the Elite Four!

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